Evil Deeds

Tonight I found myself watching one of those cheesy made for TV horror/suspense movies. As usual the plot involved an evil character disguised as a good guy until it all predictably spins out of control and the truth emerges through a series of vicious crimes committed in a climactic frenzy. You know just when things are going to go bad… as soon as the thunderstorm rolls in. It happens every time and this movie was no different. This scenario is used so much in movies I decided to see if I could find any correlation between film and reality.

There have been numerous studies done about a connection with violent crime and weather with the first initiated in the 1960’s. Opinions vary about the validity of the data but here are some of the findings…

A direct connection between temperature and violent crime was noted. Violent crimes are highest in summer and lowest in winter. Assault related 911 calls rise with the temperature but only up to a point. After temps reach 98 to 100 degrees the rate decreases significantly. A higher number of violent crimes occur on days with high winds and on dry days. Fewer violent crimes occur on cold days or when it rains.

Does it mean anything? I don’t know….but in relation to films…you always know when it’s coming.

Letter to Veteran’s Administration:You Win,We Lose

Dear VA,

We give up. You win. We lose. You have successfully defeated an 86year old woman and her family with your strategies. Brilliant. You should consider using the same tactics for enemy interrogations. I think you will find it just as effective with terrorists as when it is used on the people that serve your nation and their families. Just in case you have forgotten anything…let me recap it for you…so you can incorporate it into your employee handbook.

Start with a 19 year old. Send him to Vietnam. Send him home in one piece physically…(don’t worry, the Agent Orange you sprayed him with while he was in the jungle will lie dorment in his body and never get diagnosed until it causes him to die a slow and painful death many years later)… but in scattered pieces mentally. Deny him and millions of other Vietnam Vets benefits for decades. Finally award benefits after being shamed into it by a nation (don’t worry, it will still go in your favor because it is too late for many/most of them.) Conveniently have a fire that destroys millions of Vietnam Veteran’s military records and make them wait several more years for replacements. Put him and his family through a bureaucracy of hell when they try to apply for any benefits that you have taunted them with that could make a difference in his quality of  life before death. Lose his paperwork repeatedly…even when sent certified or hand delivered. Send form after form…always claiming that the last one…that you sent and swore was the right one…. was,afterall….incorrect. Tell his family members point blank to give up…that he will be dead before any benefit is awarded. When a family member is obstinate give in only if they threaten to go to the media. (don’t worry–he will lose the benefit as soon as it is awarded because by this time it’s too late and he will be sent to a long term care VA Facility to die…therefore making him ineligible.) Once he is deceased acknowledge his death by holding a mass memorial service at the Faciltiy where he and other Veterans died during the year and show a film that states it is dedicated to the “Brave men and women who fought in WWI and WWII”…even though at least half of the families there are for Veterans of multiple wars…including Vietnam and more recent. Don’t forget to send the families a flag…for the coffin. Then wait 3 years after his death and send his survivor, which happens to be his 86 year old mother, a very callous letter stating that you are acknowledging that his death was caused by Agent Orange exposure. When the family inquires about having his name added to the Vietnam Wall Memorial in Washington (which can be done and is done once a year) tell them that Vietnam Veterans who died from exposure to Agent Orange or suffered deaths stemming from PTSD are NOT eligible because…”It is estimated that including those names would take another entire wall to be built.” Don’t worry about those that haven’t died yet…you can give their families the same excuse…by then it would probably take 2 or 3 more walls. Send another letter placing a monetary value on the deceased. Offer it to the survivor…throw in the funeral expenses as well. When they send in the forms lose them 2 or 3 more times…then request more info. Make sure to ask for things that might be upsetting to the family each time…so what if they are traumatized by requests for things like itemized statements from the funeral home….questions about the cost of embalming fluid and ice used in the morgue to store their loved ones body, transports cost to and from the crematorium, etc. Many families keep a file of documentation with the VA…if they have to refer to it often it causes them to re-live the details of their loved ones death. They will frequently become weary and stop.

 That is the goal, right?…make them give in…make it so hard… that they just go away. You win. We are going away. What a feather in your cap. We have pulled out that file…re-visited the pain—for the last time. It’s time to move on and remember the good, none of which, involves YOU. Well done VA… well done.

Things You Should Do In Stilettos

Walk two miles. Step on a spider. Chase a child. Out run someone you don’t want to talk to. Run down someone you do want to talk to. Kick someone who gets too close. Kick someone who doesn’t get close enough.

 

Cook a gourmet meal. Order take-out. Get married. Get divorced. Go on a date. Go out with the girls. Walk the dog. Ride a horse. Take a bath. Be filthy. Shop ’til you drop. Stand in line. Sit on your ass. Look pretty. Visit your Grandma.

 

Steal a man. Sing a song. Read a book. Go to the Doctor. Visit the sick. Make prank phone calls. Call a friend. See a show. Film a documentary. Move. Fly a kite. Go to Starbucks. Drink wine. Dance a jig. Blow bubbles. Swim. Ride a bike. Wish on a star. Save the planet. Break a heart. Kiss a frog. Talk dirty. Be nice. Make mudpies. Vacuum. Bake cupcakes. Eat a popsicle. Go to bed. Wake up in them. Smile.

Screaming Like a Banshee

We’ve all heard the expression “Screaming like a Banshee”. Ever wonder what a Banshee is? Well…I did…here’s what I found out…including why it’s so much better to be an Irish Banshee instead of a Scottish one.

Irish Banshees

Known as the “woman of the fairy mounds” in Irish mythology they are a female spirit that can either signify an omen of death or be a messenger from the other world. Theosophists acquaint them to pre-christian gaelic deities that survived the transition into Christianity and commonly refer to them as fallen angels. Irish folklore believed that they only appeared to the 5 major families of Ireland…The O’Neills, O’Briens, O’Connors, O’Gradys, and the Kavanaghs…as warning of an impending death in the family. Their mourning wails, usually heard at night…whenever someone was about to die…could be either piercingly high… enough to shatter glass… or as a low and pleasant singing.

They most often appeared as an ugly frightening hag but sometimes 

as a beautiful woman, hooded crow, hare or weasel.When more than one Banshee appeared at a time it indicated the death of someone great or holy.

Sometimes they were seen brushing their long hair with a silver comb. Superstition in Ireland still holds that if you ever see a comb on the ground do not pick it up…it could be the trick of a Banshee…trying to steal your spirit before it’s time.

 

Scottish Banshees

In Scotland Banshees appear more frequently near rivers as “Bean Sidhe” or  “washer woman”…washing the clothes or bloody armor of a person facing impending death. Unlike the Irish who believe there can be no intervention the Scottish believe that there can be. In Scottish mythology the Banshee’s appearance is old and ugly…with extremely long and sagging breasts…so long that they interfere with her work…making it necessary for her to fling them over her shoulders so that they hang down her back. Scottish folklore suggests that if a person sneaks up behind them and begins nursing from one of the breasts it will create a bond and require the Banshee to give them the name of the person facing death. If it’s an enemy you can walk away and leave their fate in the Banshee’s hands…if it’s a friend or family…you can order the death “stopped” and the Banshee must obey.

sources:  www.wikipedia.com   and   www.monstopedia.org

Rusted Angel

The warmth inside the abandoned car lulled his senses deeper and deeper towards sleep. The feel of torn upholstery and smell of rusted metal was familiar…safe…comfortable.

A large part of his childhood was spent hiding here, embracing the sanctuary it offered…like the wings of an Angel wrapped around his fragile spirit…protecting him from harm. What better place to revisit the past…or contemplate the future.